Thoughts on being expendable.

This song came into my head on the news of loosing my part-time gig at the end of march.

Have you ever seen an idealist
With grey hairs on his head
Or successful men who keep in touch
With unsuccessful friends?
You only think you do
I could have sworn I saw it too
But as it turns out,
It was just a clever ad for cigarettes

Cause if it isn’t making dollars
Then it isn’t making sense
If you aren’t moving units
Then you’re not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this
If it isn’t penetration
Then it isn’t worth a kiss

We’re so sorry, sir,
But you did not quite make the cut this time
We’d appriciate it if you’d get
Your stuff all out by five
Don’t take it personal
Everyone knows you did your best
If it makes it easier,
You should look at things from our perspective

Cause if it isn’t making dollars
Then it isn’t making sense
If you aren’t moving units
Then you’re not worth the expense
If you really want to make it
You had best remember this
If it isn’t penetration
Then it isn’t worth a kiss

Penetration by Pedro the Lion from the Control album

for some reason that made me think about this quote from Shakespeare’s Caesar:

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world Like a Colossus; and we petty men Walk under his huge legs and peep about To find ourselves dishonorable graves. Men at some time are masters of their fates: The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves,that we are underlings.

Day 2 of surprise me God.

So this day starts like any other, i pray the prayer and go about my business but around i think that i got my first surprise. it’s uncertain so i will let you judge.

i have this part-time gig pimpin’ (read vendor marketing rep.) Kodak digital cameras. You make sure the product in the stores plan-o-gram (POG) are setup correctly, priced right, that point-of purchase (POP) marketing materials are up and that the store employees are trained on your product line.

Bryan got me the hook-up over the holidays when they were doing this big push in the stores to demo the cameras, trying to increase sales. It was fun and the extra cash didn’t hurt either. It was suppose to end after the holidays but some hours opened up for a permanent part-time position so i thought “what the hey?”, extra cash doesn’t hurt.

They had to figure out how to break up the region and what stores i would be assigned so i didn’t start repping until a couple weeks ago. That’s when i found out that i know absolutely nothing about how to be a vendor marketing rep. It took forever to figure out my schedule and the hours were all messed up. I was told that it would be 12 hours a week but that the actual work would take about 8 hours. but then i received my schedule and found that those 12 hours were the weekly average of a monthly total of 50 hours and 2/3 of those hours would need to be done in the first 2 1/2 weeks of the month. That adds up to 18-20 hours a week the first two weeks and next to nothing the last week of the month. Not what i signed up for and, man, those 12 hours were taking me 12 hours!

Mix that with not being able to spend as much time with Heather as i would like, not being able to take more on at the church, not having time to visit with my mom and not having any me time and i guess you could say that i am a little frustrated. But, it’s not a good idea to throw in the towel on a new thing just because you’re thrown a few curve balls at the beginning so i decided to give it a month and see if things smoothed out.

In the back of my head i don’t think i was too hopeful because when i received the call today that they would only be able to keep me until the end of March because the account is changing agencies, i felt relieved. The decision has been made for me and a weight has been wifted. Yay!

So, is this a God surprise? Lots of people are going to loose their jobs, i mean their livelihoods, not just their extra cash jobs. That’s not too cool. But, i have been given a way out of this commitment that i am not too terribly excited about without feeling like a quitter.

Here’s the main thing that i have come to grips with, if i can’t manage a parttime job now how am i going to manage school in the fall? And i have to get back to school, for good or ill, i feel compelled to go. If i explained why this post would become a book, so i will refain from explaining why i feel this way. It does give me a an idea to post about this topic in the future though.
This gig has shown me that it ain’t easy managing all the stuff in life, stuff that would have to be managed well if i ever did go back to school, excel at the day job, have a relationship, be there for my mom, be there for my church and maybe, just maybe, have a hobby or three and some time to read and relax. Well, this gig has shown me that i’m not particularly good at the whole time-management thing. Add that to problems with the whole money-management thing and the emotional-investment thing (i won’t go into either at this time) and i have too many issues on too many ‘thing’ fronts to get anything done. Very frustrating.

Maybe the God surprise is in making me confront these things about myself or in the steadily growing realization that i am going need some help with my ‘thing’ fronts… oh joy.


Computers + Community = Computity.

This portmanteau was coined by Reverend John Musick on Friday, February 3rd, in the year of our Lord, 2006.

I actually forgot to post this until my sister, jen posted about it.

Google and say it isn’t a legitimate word… yet.

-Update- I did find the word compotator at ’cause I like potatos, but, as you can see if you click the link, the word has nothing to do with potatos… unless your drinking vodka… mmm, potatos…