tired of the push

everyday, in a thousand ways,
i am told how to feel, what to think, what to do
i am the pin ball and there is a sadist at the flippers

a dark force hungry and angry
seeking to devour me in more ways then one
a constant hum in my ear

why do we need so badly to have everyone agree with us?
why is it so important to sway another’s opinion this way and that?
do we need to convince others to really convince ourselves?

maybe i am a sailboat and my sail just needs to pick a wind to follow
perhaps indecision is my true enemy
perhaps it is my lack of faith

still, the push i feel is an outside thing, an other
confused sometimes with the inner driver
the fire given

the static of opinion makes it hard
hard to hear that still small voice
the voice that I know I can rely

who is this mocker, this mimicker of the shepherd’s voice?
from where does this push come;
the devil, others, myself?

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