“Every day, for thirty days, I pray and ask God to surprise me? â€œSurprise Me, God.â€? Nothing more, nothing less. Three words. Not asking for something in particular. Not giving him my list. Not presenting my agenda. Just inviting him to barge into my life in any old way he pleases-to crash into the busyness of my schedule and mess with it.” – Terry Esau, “Surprise Me”
So i woke up late and ran to catch my ride share, it’s Amy’s week to drive, and totally spaced praying “Surprise me God.” Thankfully, i remembered by 9:45, took a deep breath and prayed.
Reading Terry’s book last night he mentioned a certain level of trepidation that was brought about by an email sent buy a friend of his that said, in essence, that “it is a fearful thing to fall into the arms of the living God.” (Heb 10:31, ESV). Actually, I think she said something like that was a scary thing to do, asking God to surprise you. That got him thinking about that it isn’t necessarily safe to ask God for such things.
That reminds me of a quote from CS Lewis’ The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe:
‘If there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than me or else just silly.’
‘Then he isn’t safe?’ asked Lucy.
‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver. ‘Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.’
It reminds me of when i jumped off the forty foot cliff into a lake at the boundary waters this last summer, i couldn’t think about what i was doing or it wouldn’t get done. Fear sets in too easily, it was gonna hurt when i hit that water but their was nothing to do about that. Thinking about it only wears at my resolve. Thinking about what i’m asking God could definitely wear at my resolve.
What will God do with me? i am inviting Him to do anything. Scary.
It doesn’t matter though. The real scary question, the one that motivates me to ask God to surprise me is “What would i do without God?” And that is a real fear as i feel really far away most times in these days. i need to invite Him back, i need to start look for Him were He is. So here we go, time to jump.
“Surprise me God.”
As I prepare for bed, thought it would be good to close out the first day’s entry. Nothing earth shattering happened today. Most of the time i was so caught up in whatever i was doing at the moment that it never occured to me to look for the God surprise in things. That’s the way it is most days i think. The day just carries you along, like a riptide sucking you out to sea. If you don’t watch it life can easily become a long list of routines rapped up in the urgent needs of the day, there is no room for dreams or the miraculous in such a life.
Oh well maybe tomorrow.